Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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