I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i permit you to call me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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