You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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