She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
