the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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