I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
