And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
