Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
