You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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