My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
