he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
