im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
