he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
