I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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