There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
