You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
