i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
