SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
