the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
