I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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