Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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