i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Do vagina's smell?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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