this boner is exhausting
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
