The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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