i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
