oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
