You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
And the cops told us we were all naked.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
