I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
