What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
