Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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