went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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