he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
