I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You made out with two different species that night
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
