Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
