You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
