I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
