so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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