OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
