Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
