Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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