just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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