You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
high people should be assigned attendants
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
