Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
