imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
