she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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