idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
