Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
