the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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