Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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