you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is Oprah even human
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
