remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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